Choosing
Your Best Man and Maid of Honour/Matron
of Honour
The
roles of the Best Man and Maid/Matron
of Honour in a wedding are significant
and the positions should be taken earnestly. Really think through
the decision of who you would like to stand up for you in these
positions for your wedding. You will want to
pick people that are not only special to your heart, but who are
also reliable and responsible. You will be counting on these people
to help you on your wedding day and with the
plans to bring things together. You want people you can really
depend on to get the job done right. Standing up for you is both
an honour and also a job that requires work and dedication.
Choosing
the Rest of Your Wedding Party
The
number of wedding attendants you choose to stand
up for you is totally up to you. Nowadays, anything goes but traditionally,
informal weddings had up to three attendants,
semi-formal had up to six, and formal had up to twelve. Some
couples let the Bride choose her side of the
wedding party and the Groom
choose his while others try to even out the sides with a couple
special people to both
the Bride and Groom on either
side. When choosing your attendants bare in mind the personalities
of the people you are considering. Your wedding party
will be spending quite a bit of time together and it helps if
their personalities mesh well. Also beware of any hard feelings
between people. It can bring problems and tension to your wedding
if you have a feud or ill feelings in the way.
When
choosing the position of your wedding attendants,
you may wish to position them by how long you have known them.
The ones you have known the longest should be the closest to you.
This may stop feelings from being hurt because you can't contest
time.
You
may wish to pick people that live close to you if they will be
really involved in the wedding plans.
If you don't really want others involved in your wedding
plans distance will not be as much of a factor.
If you do choose someone to be in your wedding party
that lives quite a distance away, remember 
they
won't likely be able to help you out during the planning
stages of the wedding. Think about how long you
have known people and how involved they have been in your life.
Family members are always a good choice because you know they
will always be in your life.
When
choosing the people for their wedding party,
sometimes Brides and Grooms
do things differently than the traditional roles so they can have
the people they want stand up for them. Occasionally they have
more than one person in a role or even have people of the opposite
sex of the traditional role, for example, having two Maids of
Honour or a woman as a Best Man. It's your wedding; you can do
as you wish.
It's
a good idea to make up a Wedding
Party Contact List with all the contact information
of each member of your wedding party. Give a
list to each member so they can keep in touch with the other members
of your wedding party. This
will come in handy when arrange parties, running errors, arranging
meetings, and helping out one another with wedding details.
The
Roles and Duties of the Wedding
Party
Whoever
you choose as your wedding attendants, they may
or may not know what is expected of them in their roles as your
wedding attendants. Some people have lots of
experience standing up for couples and for others it may be their
first time. A web page such as this one is a good place for them
to start and get the information they will need to know what is
expected of them during the wedding plans and
on the wedding day. See the list below for each
of the wedding party positions. Their most important role is to
be flexible, supportive and helpful throughout the wedding
plans and on the wedding day.
The
Roles and Duties of the Family
in a Wedding
Family
involvement is almost certain when it comes to planning
a wedding. After all, it is one of the biggest events
planned in a family. Family members are often
the greatest source of support and council throughout this time
of stress and excitement. They can also help with some of the
many tasks that need to be done during the wedding
plans and this alone will help relieve stress and save you time.
The
family's financial support varies from wedding
to wedding and should be talked about early in
the engagement. If your parents will be helping pay for your wedding,
be sure to plan your budget well. Sit down with
both sides of the family (even a couple of times) and discuss
what financial support will be given and break things down into
individual items. Some working couples today take on the full
expense of their wedding, but still relying on
their families' guidance, hands on work, love and support.
Who's
Walking The Bride Down The Aisle?
It use to be that in most cases the Bride was
walked down the aisle by her father. Nowadays, with divorce and
remarriage more common than it use to be, many Brides
are left with the dilemma of who should walk her down the aisle
on her wedding day. With weddings
being open to more variations, Brides have many
options. Some Brides have their father walk them
down the aisle halfway and have their stepfather walk them the
other half to represent the two halves of her life. Some have
their mother walk them down the aisle to show her appreciation
for all her mother's hard work and dedication in bringing her
up. Some have more than one parent walk them down the aisle because
they were all involved in bringing her up. Some Brides
even walk down the aisle by themselves to show their independence.
Today's weddings are much more flexible and personalized;
giving couples the chance to plan their wedding
in a way that is meaningful to them. We encourage you to be creative
and plan your wedding in a way
that fits your family, live style and personality.
GodParents
Godparents are like surrogate parents that offer their love, support
and blessing. The support can be emotionally or financially. Their
roles in the wedding vary from
person to person, and it is best to ask the Bride
and Groom and/or their parents of their wishes
and where they feel the Godparents'
support is best needed with the wedding plans.
Depending on the family’s situation and the relationships
with all concerned, it will alter how much involvement is required.
You may find yourself quite involved in the wedding
plans if the relationship is very close. Godparents
can play an active role in the wedding itself also. Some of these
things could include lighting candles, handing out programs, greeting
guests at the wedding reception,
making a speech, coordinating the speeches as the MC or even walking
the Bride down the aisle.
arrangements.
